About Writing Ep. 2: My Main Character: The Flaws and Is She Me?

Nearly two decades ago, there wasn't a book like the one I wrote. Pickings were slim on the modern fantasy/paranormal romance book shelf, and I wanted to write the type of story that I would want to read. My premise at that time was that, as an adult, a girl returned to the place where she was born, a place full of magic. That was really all I knew that I wanted it to be at the moment, and it took a really long time to go from that simple idea to actually crafting a story that executed that idea in a way I liked.

Fast-forward to a few days ago when I was talking to another writer about how amazing it is to go from something that doesn't exist and turning this thought into something tangible that you can hold in your hands.

To Be a Hero or Not to Be?

My first book defied modern trends by having a main character who wasn't a slayer wannabe. I remember feeling the pressure to have her go through training and learning to fight. The more I thought about the expectations, the more I realized that they were trends that were quickly becoming cliche and decided not to take that route.

I recall reading numerous writing books about writing for children where the children had to solve the problem without the adults intervening. The children were given carte blanche to get themselves into dangerous situations while the adults were absorbed in grown-up things. Children were sent away to schools where they were ill-supervised, or parents had been neatly killed off so as not to interfere in the decisions of misguided youth. Not too long ago, I read a comment online by a reader who was craving characters with supportive families. Dysfunctional families had become the norm in both fiction and the real world. This writing trend was not just a plot device to allow an otherwise impossible story to take place, but it was also influencing social norms.

Coincidence? Life imitates art.

The more I thought about the so-called rules, the more I questioned them. Not every logical human would turn slayer the moment they realized that their lives were in danger. You know those stories where readers think, "Why didn't you call the police?" Or, "Characters who say Let's split up are desperately longing to be put out of their misery." I wanted my character to be logical, and I didn't want to manipulate the story into some preconceived notion thinly disguised as plot.

Also, a person doesn't become a hero overnight. There's usually a journey to that end, and I don't mean the "hero's journey" template for writing. I'm not talking about thinly constructed plot devices to reflect this emotion or that emotion. I'm talking about, for example, a person deciding to forgive someone. While some may be quick to come to that decision, it could take decades of misery or vengefulness before a person realizes the benefit of forgiveness. Even good people will attempt to justify holding in this unforgiveness and call it "wisdom" or "learning from experience," all the while feeding their bitterness like it's a favorite pet.

Think about the obstacles to forgiveness, and, similarly, the obstacles to believing in oneself. In writing a series, a character may not make the leap from doubt to belief in one book alone. At the end of a book, he or she might be a step closer or even a step further away.

Keeping all of these things in mind, I decided not to have my character suddenly convert to hero, but to maintain her normalcy while microscopically altering her trajectory toward somewhat heroish.

Also, I'm aware that, very generally speaking, women in the South aren't exactly like women in the North. And this is loosely based on what I've been told by Southerners who moved to other areas of the country. I don't think of a guy as a chauvenist if he holds a door open for me. It's not a remark about my inability to open a door; it's etiquette, like saying please and thank you. By the same token, if I see a guy with his hands full or anyone right behind me, I'll hold the door for them. It's just good manners and respect. A queen doesn't berate a footman who holds a door for her, so I'm honestly not sure where people got off thinking that it made a woman seem helpless or incapable. If a man is willing to hold a door, odds are pretty good that he'll be willing to help if the building is on fire and everyone needs to get out. I'd hope that he would be less likely to leave everyone else stranded. If someone holds the door for me, I just smile and say, "Thank you," and continue on. Don't overthink it. I don't feel slighted or offended. When a family member visited after living in other parts of the country for years, he said, "It's nice to be able to hold the door for someone without them being offended." It's ironic that we've come to a point where people are offended by courtesy. Welcome to the Upside-Down.

Just to be clear, this is not to say that feminism is a bad thing. I rather enjoy sharing chores such as washing dishes. At the same time, there are things I would personally rather not do, such as mowing the grass, so it feels hypocritical of me. :-) If you told me that I had to choose between washing dishes and mowing grass when it's 100 degrees outside, I'd probably choose dishes, but that doesn't mean that I would give up my right to vote or deciding how I want to spend my money. I suppose there's a different sweet spot for everyone. You pick your battles and don't fight every one of them. For me, appreciating my equal rights doesn't mean that I'm equally capable of doing everything or that I feel the pressure to be less of a woman. If having equal rights means that women become men, then that kind of defeats the point, in my opinion. That's not equal at all. Equality means having the same value, the same level of worth. Not being less of a person for being born a certain gender or race, regardless of gender or race. Not promoting one over the other, but also not overcompensating because that is adverse-inequality.

With this in mind, my character frequently gets in too deep of trouble and has to be bailed out, which, to my way of thinking, is much more realistic, although, admittedly, it flies in the face of expectations for independent main characters. To a large degree, she is independent. She ventured off her normal path alone and was later abandoned by her friends. Her known world was changed, and a lot of this wouldn't be entirely possible without a bit of persuasive magic from another character. She's often a victim, but she doesn't dwell in victimhood, waiting for a knight in shining armor. She uses her wits, makes decisions--good or bad, and takes advantage of help when it comes along. Personally, I like that type of character far more than the type who feels she must do EVERYTHING without help, gets mad for people trying to help, and then nearly ends up as a happy meal for a monster. My main character is not so much of a know-it-all, alpha, super-feminist, but bounces her thoughts off of her supporting characters, which builds chemistry and helps her grow. In this way, while having a strong plot, the story is more character-driven.

Is My Main Character Me?

That being said, in the first book, she is not the model-perfect, snarky, uber-feminist, ass-kicking character that has become the norm in most books. She's a little co-dependent, a little wimpy, and a little naive. While she's cute, she's not the most beautiful girl in town. She meets girls who are prettier, more confident, and more dominant. I would hope that readers could see this and determine that the character is not some Mary Jane-type character who thinks she's the best or feels that she has to be the best at everything. She has flaws and shortcomings. She admits to not being perfect while being able to laugh at herself and still being true to who she is.

While some of my main character's attributes are things about me (I get criticized for using too much sugar, liking to sleep late, and hating to wash dishes), the only physical attribute we share are green eyes, which I never thought of as superior. My feelings on these similarities is to give her some flaws and anchor the character in reality, but all of my characters have pieces of me in them. In some cases, it's just an interest or an attitude. Each one of them comes from me, so how can they not have some part of me in them--even the worst character? I feel that it's better to add pieces of me than to steal them from others.

So, the answer is that my main character isn't me, but they all are.